Lady Gaga is disturbing

There's really no good way to spin a story about housekeeping finding a tub full of blood in your hotel suite. Trust me, I've killed enough hippies, hookers, and drifters to know. From MTV:

[Lady Gaga] has now been accused by staff at the plush Intercontinental Hotel of "bathing in blood as part of a Satanic ritual" after a housekeeper found the tub of red stuff in GaGa's suite.

The stunned hotel worker told website Truthquake: "Lady GaGa left large amounts of blood in the suite during a stay this summer. The incident was reported to the concierge, who was told to put it out of her mind."

Speaking of the gory discovery, a source told The Sun: "All of the hotel's staff are convinced she was bathing in it or, at the very least, using it as part of one of her new costumes or weird stage routines."

I know what you're thinking, but allow me to untangle the web of bullshit the media is spinning regarding our beloved Lady Gaga. There was no satanic ritual, and it wasn't the return of the meat suit. Yes, the liquid was blood, I concede that point. Please remember that Lady Gaga is a good Catholic girl at heart, and satanic rituals go against what she believes in. The blood that filled the tub was her menstrual cycle blood. Stefani has a really heavy flow. She's famous for the copious amounts of blood she leaks during a full moon. I'll have you know that as a child, Gaga's nickname was "Elevator Scene from The Shining." Not just because of the blood, but also because when Gaga opened her legs, two creepy little girls holding hands would come out and say "come play with us." I don't know how true that is but nobody's proved that it's not true, either.